WEEK 1.

Sadness, sadness is the world that describes how I feel at this very moment. Seeing him at work everyday and knowing that he is sleeping few metres under myself rips my heart apart. 

I know it is a matter of time. I know that Im strong enough to be able to see the light once again at the end of the tunnel sooner rather than later. 

Now everything has loose its sense and that is probably what scares me the most. TRUST, INTIMACY, LOVE... Will I be anytime ready for that again?.

Sadly, life never stops surprising us. Nobody has died so, why do I feel as a part of me has already gone for forever?.

SOS.

My heart is broken. My heart is broken in so many pieces that I know it will take a long long long time before they come up together again. 

Knowing that it has been my fault does not really help at all. Knowing that being able to keep that relation going on was all in my hand and let it be vanished, leaves me with a huge emptiness. 

Maybe he is right, maybe we become friends rather than a couple but, is this not what it is all about?.

The sense of failure together with emptiness invades me in a way that has not happened before. Now, millions of questions queue in my head; what to do next? should I stay or should I go? was he THE ONE and did I let him go?. 

He was like my personal brand of heroin so now it is time to start from the bottom and learn who I really am on my own. 

I know it will take time. I know that maybe, I won't be the same person never again... Am I ready for that?.