Friday, March 5, 2010


2010 is not being so far the kind of year I was waiting for. I kind of expect that the new decade was going to be different but it isn't at all. I have always had the belief that once a year passes by and we have made some mistakes, we learn about those and they make us not only wiser but also stronger. That statement makes me wonder, what did I learn during the past decade?. First of all, at that time I became an epileptic. The disease that describes me as a person, that turned my world upside down and that sadly will be living with me forever. I always refer to it as my worst nightmare and believe me when I say that this is something I don't wish to anyone even to my worst enemy. Nowadays, it is normal for me to take it easy during the night or to go out and stay sober but I can remember there was a time during my teen years, when I was asking myself what did I do wrong to deserve such a cruel punishment.

Secondly, my dad passed away all of a sudden. I don't want to speak so much about it as I dedicated a full post to this theme not long time ago. Thirdly, it must be my depression. I always knew that I was a person very prone to depression. I'm the kind of person who prefers to not talk about her personal stuff while suffering about it in silence. All these "internal issues" together with a feeling I never experienced before -called love- brought me a huge depression. Fourthly, I have been rejected over and over again. I have been rejected in such bad ways that nowadays I cant barely believe in no one's words.

I was never a very optimistic person but I thought there was still a hope for me in 2010. If I'm realistic, the only motivation that keeps me going on nowadays are all the journeys I have planned. Hopefully, this year I will be strong enough and I will find the reason to leave this bubble for good.

1 comment:

  1. YOU ARE STRONG! you just don't realize how strong you are..